I have sat with this group and wanted to share my experience. There are good things and bad things about this group, so my review is mixed.

The positives: (1) The music is fantastic and really accounts for a lot. There are a lot of talented musicians helping create music for this group. (2) The space is beautiful out in the desert, I love the maloka (as they call it) made of wood. The light shines through the windows in beautiful hues of color. (3) I have a high opinion of the main facilitator. I loved how he welcomed us into the group and took the time with explaining everything and giving us blueprints for how to navigate the experience. I found him to be wise and insightful and he held space from a place of calm dignity throughout the night. I felt I could trust him, and I did trust him. (4) The onboarding process was seamless. They had a bunch of forms for us to fill out when registering; I am medically complex and have to be on a lot of medications. The onboarding people took the time to call me to make sure I knew what I was getting myself into when I signed on. I felt like that was good attention to detail.

The Negatives: (1) We have to arrive at 6 pm for ceremony at 1 am. That is a long wait. I walked into the room, set up my place to sleep, and mostly just sat there. The people next to me were both sleeping in this time, so it didn’t provide opportunities to get to know anyone. There wasn’t really anyone who came around to introduce themselves with the exception of one person and it was very brief. This person (I don’t remember her name) just went over some general guidelines and talked about herself. She did not ask me anything about why I was there. There was 7 hours of sitting before ceremony commenced, I felt like that time could have been used to build relationships with people, but it did not seem welcoming. The main facilitator kept saying the group helps heal the group, but I did not feel a sense of camaraderie with these people. It was a missed opportunity. I have sat with other groups where I felt really included and there were conversations between the facilitators and the participants. I got a good idea of who people were and why there were there. That was not the case with this group. (2) I had a hard night and left feeling ashamed of it. I felt like I was a burden on the facilitators because I was working through some things. I do not feel like they were willing to hold space for me. One rolled his eyes as me. There was a lot of talking and laughing amongst them as I was struggling. I felt like that was more than a little tone deaf on their part. (3) The facilitators are not friendly and mostly keep to themselves and their group of friends. I felt this group to be very much advocating for themselves. I did not get the opportunity to really connect with people as in the morning, everyone quickly dispersed. (4) It would be nice if there was a community here, but there wasn’t. I have been with other groups that get participants involved in something other than strikly drinking (like bonfire night and “Sunday Service”), but this group only charges $1000 to come drink and there is no other way to be a part of it. I feel like with this group, there is no way to connect unless you are “chosen” by the facilitators. The facilitators act in a way that makes me think they’re the “chosen” people. I have a rejection wound and this experience was pretty challenging for me to navigate, especially after the long weekend of challenging flashbacks. I imagine it would be for others in my situation as well.

All in all, this medicine is incredible and I feel very privileged to have the opportunity to sit with it. While I won’t be back to this group, I can understand people wanting to come back who are more …let’s say compatible with the group dynamic. I was just looking for an inclusive crowd, and this was the wrong set and setting for me.