This is my first ceremony and something within me knew to trust my feelings right away .
The moment I met Kerby prior to the actual event I instantly felt a sense of relief and peace , I knew that I was talking to a really amazing human .
I’ve been battling suicidal thoughts and self harm my entire life , I come from a lineage of heavy trauma and abuse , I have chronic post traumatic distress and have gone through a lot of physical and emotional abuse myself . I have watched it , I have been a part of it , I have re-created it for myself in my adult life, I was an addict to pain and self abandonment . The moment I reached out to Kerby I was in a pretty desperate and low state . I have felt stuck in my self loathing and hiding from the world , immersed in depression and anxiety, I felt like I was a prisoner of my own body and mind unable to escape this terror besides giving up on myself . I finally decided to do Ayahuasca.
When I arrived at our designated spot I entered the room full of light . Instantly I wanted to know about all the beautiful humans that gathered there . There was an atmosphere of welcome and warmth . Everything inside of me said “ this is it. You have arrived where you need to be “
Before the ceremony we all did a little ritual and expressed gratitude towards the medicine . The medicine Kerby gets is of the highest quality from the truest source . We were absolutely blessed to be able to have it . Kerby and Hailey and other volunteers were ready to answer any of our questions. They explained everything thoroughly so we knew what to expect as a general idea .
when the ceremony began we all laid on our really comfortable mats that were prepared for us .
The lighting in the room was beautiful and calming , the music began playing and shortly Kerby was playing magical sounds of healing . He is so wonderfully attentive to details , he observed the energy in the room and played music accordingly . The music was going straight into my heart space .
Personally I had a very difficult journey with the medicine , I was going into something I’ve never felt and I started to get really scared and at the end it was absolutely perfect because the group of volunteers and Kerby were there for me every moment I needed them . I felt so cared for , like I never have in my entire life . I felt so supported . They didn’t abandon me , they were there through the thick of it and I came out on the other end with a superb healing experience. What could’ve been horribly traumatic to someone who chose the wrong facilitator or did it solo turned out to be amazingly healing for me . I can’t emphasize the importance of people , energy and settings are ! They are absolutely what will make or break your journey . I am so blessed to have found this group of kind , compassionate and truly beautiful humans . I am forever grateful for the love I have received. The food was outstanding, homemade wholesome meals made with loving energy , Hailey did an amazing job ! Everyone helped each other and there was a sense of community and tribe like belonging .
It is a truly once in a life time opportunity to experience human connections and allow yourself to evolve to a new level .
I will never forget the people I became so close to , I found my sisters and brothers , I found my healers and my family.
Thank you for the unforgettable experience that I am still integrating day by day
My work and my battle isn’t done but I have gained a sense of clarity and possibility for myself , I didn’t feel ugly or small or useless . I have met myself completely anew . I climbed out of hell and got born into a fresh perspective . The integration part is one of the most important parts of the journey and Kerby and other people in the community offer their support and share what they feel like sharing. You will be helped each step of the way
Most importantly you will be seen , you will be accepted and you will be loved .
Perhaps for the first time in my life , what has become completely forgotten by me underneath my trauma defenses and pain I have gained a sense of true trust in human nature , the power of love and compassion .
Thank you , thank you , thank you
For being there for me , for creating a safe circle of love that doesn’t hurt .