Safety is apparently not a huge concern at this retreat.

I unfortunately had a very negative mental reaction to the drug, and was having suicidal delusions. I repeatedly asked to speak to my emergency contact so I could ground myself, but I was denied without reason. I was told to “surrender to the process” even though I repeated told them I was going to kill myself and just needed to talk it out. I hadn’t felt suicidal in over 15 years. I came to the retreat mostly loving life, and just looking to fix some things from my childhood. I was not suicidal entering this ceremony.

The facilitators assisting me while I was in that state were unequipped to deal with someone like me. It became very clear that these are not trained professionals. Having lots of Aya experience does not mean you know what is best for each attendee. One facilitator in particular reacted to me with hostility, which is completely awful for a trip sitter to do. It left me with slight trauma that I cannot stop thinking of. If that person is still a facilitator, I cannot recommend anyone attend this retreat.

Later on I found out that some of the facilitators I sought help from were very high on Ayahuasca at the time. If a facilitator is sober two of the days, they should be sober the entire 3 days. A high person cannot tell the difference between a sober facilitator and a high facilitator. This is a huge example of lax safety measures.

Possibly the worst part was that I eventually had to fake being sober, just to get out of the negative environment. No one checked to see if I was okay to drive. No one took me aside and asked if I was still feeling suicidal as I picked up my car keys. They just let me drive off and get out of their hair.

I drove out of the facility, parked on the side of the road, and finally called my emergency contact which helped to ground myself.

Writing this review is very hard for me because many of the people in charge are very nice people who truly believe in the medicine. The shaman is a great person, and the environment is incredible. But until this retreat has better safety measures firmly in place, my review will stay as is.

No matter how many people heal from ayahuasca, if a small amount of people like me are swept under the rug, I will speak out. This is not okay.